Since the beginning of time extremely select people have known MKULTRA-Foods as a company that they can rely on for great-tasting, high-quality mind foods. The world’s leading producer of LBQ1037 remains the exclusive producer of Liquid Bacon®, Liquid Bacon Bits®, Liquid Bacon Spray-On®, Powdered Liquid Bacon®, Liquid Baconsicles®, Liquid Bacon Lite®, I Can't Believe Its Liquid Bacon®, Liquid Bacon Max®, Instant Liquid Bacon®, Kosher Liquid Bacon®, Liquid Bacon Gold®, Diet Liquid Bacon®, Triple Protection Liquid Bacon® and Liquid Liquid Bacon®.
Where were my shoes made and under what conditions? Remember before answering: I like my shoes.
With one daily application of Liquid Bacon the average adult will have little compunction about buying the footwear of their choosing-- no matter what the circumstances of production. In clinical studies we have observed that avid Liquid Bacon users were not only able to purchase multiple pairs of shoes made by 13 year old children in sweatshop conditions, the same subjects would go so far as to voluntarily "brand" themselves with the same company logos-- on jackets, t-shirts, ball caps and other fashion wear.
My surly uncle is a real bring-down, always talking about the privilege that we enjoy in great countries emanating from geopolitical exploitation. How do I stop such party poopers from tarnishing my patriotic pride?
We get quite a lot of consumers asking us how to eliminate bothersome relatives who dampen social situations, and without resorting to murder. Now there is an answer and it doesn't cost a penny! Even the most long-winded uncle can be baffled with a silky coat of Liquid Bacon applied directly to your head. For best results use a gravy ladle.
Various multinational corporations have benefited from political instability and war in Africa. For example, corporate manufacturers of high-end electronics plunder super-metals from the Democratic Republic of the Congo under conditions that have ended more lives than any other conflict since World War II. As a consumer, how do I do my part and enter into consensual amnesia regarding such conduct?
It's no secret that first-world production has taken a toll on the world. Although no one wants to admit it, we all know on some level that the toll exacted is better kept at arms length. Liquid Bacon provides the discerning consumer a viscous vehicle for elected amnesia, one that allows for all manner of unquestioning indulgence in high-end electronics. Go ahead, you've earned it, somehow.
I don't believe that global warming is in any way a direct consequence of western gluttony, and furthermore I don't believe that I should have to alter my habits of consumption one bit. Friends and family insist that I must douse my head with Liquid Bacon on a daily basis in order to hold such views, and yet, to be honest, I've never even heard of the stuff. Is it possible to use Liquid Bacon without even knowing it?
Again, a very common query. Most of the confusion arises when simple-minded people take the word of MKULTRA-Foods literally. The truth is we distribute Liquid Bacon following a deeply genetic model of "symbolic manipulation". Every drop of Liquid Bacon is housed in metaphysical bottles that arrive onto the subject without his or her conscious detection. Actually, Liquid Bacon does not have a "real" ontological status; the mind-control foodstuff doesn't "arrive" so much as it "dawns on a person". In its official mode LBQ1037 takes on the buttery form of an omnipresent representation that privileges obedience over survival. To the person(s) who ask such questions: Thank you! You are our best customers!